birthmothers

Birth Parents: TAKE THIS SURVEY

SchmennaLeigh's picture

If you are a birth parent (mother or father) in an open or closed adoption who relinquished voluntarily or had your rights terminated, PLEASE TAKE THIS SURVEY. They are looking for 600 participants by December 1, 2008. Let's blow that number out of the water.

Here's some info:

The Surrender Survey Project is for parents (mother and fathers) who have voluntarily relinquished and/or had their rights (involuntarily) terminated. And so, in that way, it is all inclusive. More over, the questions pertain to both parents in closed and open adoption, not just one or the other. I know that there are some things that try to exclude one group or the other but this survey acknowledges both. In fact, this survey's success depends on answers from both closed and open adoption birth parents.

Of special note: for parents that have relinquished more than one child, you are asked to take it once for each child relinquished. (Meaning, if you have placed two children, please take the survey twice, answering specifics for each individual child on each individual survey attempt.)

(If you need a bit more info, read the birth/first parent blog. Or just take the survey!)

The Girls Who Went Away

SchmennaLeigh's picture

The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler. In short, this is the best non-fiction book I have read in a long, long time. And I’m that nerd that loves non-fiction: memoirs, histories, biographies and tell-alls. I love them all!

Author:

Ann Fessler

Publisher:

The Penguin Press HC

ISBN:

1594200947

Pages:

368

Price:

Hardback - $16.47; Soft - $10.20

Rating:

10

Review:

The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler. In short, this is the best non-fiction book I have read in a long, long time. And I’m that nerd that loves non-fiction: memoirs, histories, biographies and tell-alls. I love them all! But this book far exceeds any that I have read in the past. Not only does Fessler give us a look into these womens’ souls and hearts but into a system frought with corruption and greed.

Fessler has the chapters broken down into different secions, such as Good Girls v. Bad Girls and Search and Reunion. In each, she provides interesting details which were found through extensive research, statistics and bits and pieces of comparison to how the system today hasn’t made as many advances as we would imagine. At the end of each of these chapters, two women from the Baby Scoop era tell their story, in their own words. I found these intriguing, disheartening and often found myself reaching for a tissue. When I wasn’t crying, I was angry at the disservice done to these women and their families. Throughout the entire book, these firstmothers are quoted, to match with the subject at hand. The truths held within these pages are daunting; adoptees whose lives were not better in a two parent home like these Mothers were promised, the inability, both emotionally and physically, to conceive another child and, sadly, the absolute destruction of self-esteem, self-worth and innocence.

I would declare this a Must Read for anyone who is touched by adoption (or, as one Mother in the book declares, “smashed” by adoption): firstparents, adoptive parents and adoptees. I’d stretch that out even further and recommend it for anyone in the firstfamily (grandparents, siblings) as well as the adoptive parents extended families (again, grandparents and siblings). I think it offers invaluable insight as to what the placement of a child does, emotionally, especially when there is a lack of familial support and how that adds to the guilt and shame and the eventual emotional destruction of a Mother. Beyond that, I also suggest this book for my feminist readers. Why? The moral outrage caused in this era to women, just like you, is something that we all need to be made aware of so that we can help change things for the future. That said, any expectant Mother considering placement should be forced to read this book. What an eye opener.

Birthmother Perceptions of the Psychologically Present Adopted Child: Adoption Openness and Boundary Ambiguity

Source:

Family Relations, Volume 49, Issue 4, p.425-433 (2000)

URL:

http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0197-6664(200010)49%3A4%3C425%3ABPOTPP%3E2.0.CO%3B2-H

Keywords:

adoption, adoption openness, birthmothers, boundary ambiguity, presence, psychological presence.

Abstract:

Secondary analysis of interviews with 163 birthmothers revealed that the adopted child remains psychologically present. Ten indicators of psychological presence were identified. Indicators related to roles were more salient the more open the adoption, and supernatural referents were more salient when a birthmother once had mediated communication but now has none. Degree of psychological presence was highest in fully-disclosed adoptions and lower in ongoing-mediated, confidential, and time-limited-mediated adoptions, respectively. Valence was generally positive, but more so in fully-disclosed adoptions.