Having just finished the book for the second time, I'm more aware of both the good points and bad points presented in fictional format.

The book starts off in 1986 (early in the OA movement) with Sara, a sixteen year old high school student, in labor with her first child. On the way to the hospital with her parents, we are introduced, to the coercive language that so many young expectant parents considering placement are faced with, even from their families. She is told to think of her future, to think of school and, the kicker, not to worry because it will "soon be over." I was really impressed, in a sad way, at how dead-on some of the portrayals of issues like this one (parent's support or lack thereof concerning an unplanned pregnancy) were shown throughout the book.

We are introduced to the adoptive couple in the hospital and are instantly aware that Sara's parents do not approve of the family that she has chosen to parent her child. We find out that it boils down to the fact that Eva and George, the adoptive family, want to have a fully open adoption. They live twenty minutes from Sara's home and have opened their home, stating that their home is her home. Prior to delivery, she was at their home almost every day, encouraged by both Eva and George. Throughout the book, we see how both Sara and Eva realize the issues that surround the pre-placement contact as they continue to flub their way through a relationship... and later on as well. However, at the time of birth, they are still very much in love with one another. And then the baby is whisked away and given a name that Sara had not helped choose.

And things start to go downhill.

The story is a page-turner. It keeps you on the edge of your seat, wondering what will happen next because, oh, surely, it can't possibly get any worse. It does, of course. We have a kidnapping, a forged signature on the Termination of Parental Rights and an eventual runaway issue as the book takes us to an impromptu reunion sixteen years later. We are shown issues for birth mothers, such as trying to meet someone to love when you have stretch marks and keeping that person in your life as reunion or consistent contact with your birth child come into play. We also get to see issues for birth fathers who are not told of the child's existence and how that might affect a marriage or the way one thinks about oneself. We are shown issues for adoptive parents, like answering questions as to where your child got curly hair and whether or not it is important to keep promises or tell children they are adopted. We see some heavy issues for adoptees who are not told about their adoption.

In reading this time, I dog-eared many pages, now able to pick out things that were put into the story for a reason. Instead of being aggravated that open adoption was being shown in a poor light (this book could scare both adoptive parents and birth parents out of openness or placement), I was pleased that issues like adoptive parents closing adoptions without warning and why boundaries are so important were brought into light by a mainstream author.

I do want to warn readers that this is a work of fiction: it is all worst-case scenario stuff to further engage the reader. It is important to remember while reading a book like this that your own situation does not have to boil down to the dramatic escapades held within these pages. Ethically performed matches and adoptions, proper boundaries and open, honest dialog can help many families avoid the severe nature of some of the issues in the book. That said, I think that anyone wanting to better understand the heavy emotional issues for all three sides of the triad could benefit from reading this book. While not a case study on how any particular group does really feel, the complexity of emotions shown by everyone could enlighten those who are really trying to get a grasp of what being x-member of the triad entails. Keeping that in mind, the actions that the characters engage in could be seen as the what "not to do" guide for open adoption.

I was really afraid that I would absolutely hate this book upon a second reading. I am pleased to say that while it is written with the purpose to be engaging (and thus scary!), some of the portrayals are pretty much dead on. I don't feel as though birth parents or adoptive parents are completely villanized; they are both shown with faults that lead to the eventual demise of the relationship.

Quite frankly, in my reviews thus far this year, this is the best fictional read concerning adoption and the birth mother's voice that I have hit on this year. Pick it up.

The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler. In short, this is the best non-fiction book I have read in a long, long time. And I’m that nerd that loves non-fiction: memoirs, histories, biographies and tell-alls. I love them all! But this book far exceeds any that I have read in the past. Not only does Fessler give us a look into these womens’ souls and hearts but into a system frought with corruption and greed.

Fessler has the chapters broken down into different secions, such as Good Girls v. Bad Girls and Search and Reunion. In each, she provides interesting details which were found through extensive research, statistics and bits and pieces of comparison to how the system today hasn’t made as many advances as we would imagine. At the end of each of these chapters, two women from the Baby Scoop era tell their story, in their own words. I found these intriguing, disheartening and often found myself reaching for a tissue. When I wasn’t crying, I was angry at the disservice done to these women and their families. Throughout the entire book, these firstmothers are quoted, to match with the subject at hand. The truths held within these pages are daunting; adoptees whose lives were not better in a two parent home like these Mothers were promised, the inability, both emotionally and physically, to conceive another child and, sadly, the absolute destruction of self-esteem, self-worth and innocence.

I would declare this a Must Read for anyone who is touched by adoption (or, as one Mother in the book declares, “smashed” by adoption): firstparents, adoptive parents and adoptees. I’d stretch that out even further and recommend it for anyone in the firstfamily (grandparents, siblings) as well as the adoptive parents extended families (again, grandparents and siblings). I think it offers invaluable insight as to what the placement of a child does, emotionally, especially when there is a lack of familial support and how that adds to the guilt and shame and the eventual emotional destruction of a Mother. Beyond that, I also suggest this book for my feminist readers. Why? The moral outrage caused in this era to women, just like you, is something that we all need to be made aware of so that we can help change things for the future. That said, any expectant Mother considering placement should be forced to read this book. What an eye opener.