Open Adoption Support » naming http://www.openadoptionsupport.com for families and individuals who support openness in adoption Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:59:53 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 How does someone tell an adopted child that their birth name was different? http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2011/04/how-does-someone-tell-an-adopted-child-that-their-birth-name-was-different/ http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2011/04/how-does-someone-tell-an-adopted-child-that-their-birth-name-was-different/#comments Wed, 13 Apr 2011 12:34:00 +0000 Anonymous http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/?p=1490
  • Will I always feel the need to measure up to a higher standard because my child is adopted?
  • How do I handle a visit with Grandma and my child’s birth sibling she’s caring for?
  • At what age should I tell my adopted child that I am really her grandmother?
    • ]]>     I’m asking this for a friend. (Really! I am!)

    She and her husband are in a somewhat open adoption with her infant daughter’s birth mother. (Birth mother originally stated she did not want any contact at all and has now requested some photos and letters.) As part of the developing openness, she discovered what her daughter’s original name on her original birth certificate was. Her birth mother named her “Pandora.” Gave her that name because she felt as if her daughter’s birth was so horrible and terrible that the name “Pandora” was the best way to express that.

    Right now she is relieved that her daughter was born in a state with sealed birth records. I pointed out to her that birth record laws are being changed and her daughter may be able to get her original birth certificate when she is 18 years old. And that she may want to figure out how to handle this well before then.

    Any suggestions for how to explain this to your adopted child and at
    what age you should start?

    Related posts:

    1. Will I always feel the need to measure up to a higher standard because my child is adopted?
    2. How do I handle a visit with Grandma and my child’s birth sibling she’s caring for?
    3. At what age should I tell my adopted child that I am really her grandmother?

    ]]>     http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2011/04/how-does-someone-tell-an-adopted-child-that-their-birth-name-was-different/feed/ 11     What's in a name? http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2010/03/whats-in-a-name/ http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2010/03/whats-in-a-name/#comments Sat, 27 Mar 2010 22:20:19 +0000 Anonymous http://openadoptionsupport.com/?p=951 Before placement, we discussed with our birthparents that we would like to change our son’s first name to his middle name. We weren’t too fond of his birth first name, although we didn’t say that to them. As he was 9 months old at the time, we weren’t worried that it might be traumatic for him. They agreed and said that they actually liked the idea because his middle name was in honor of an uncle who had died tragically.

    In the 4 months since placement, everyone in the birthfamily have changed to calling our son by his middle name except for his birthmother. She calls him “baby Anthony Matthew” in all references to him. We did receive one email from her where she wrote “my Anthony is no more, replaced by Matthew.” However, she still refers to him by the above 3-word name in every other communication and when she mails things to him. We’ve politely asked her to please use his correct name. She lives with mental illness, so we know she is struggling to come to terms with the adoption.

    She’ll be visiting him in 2 months. Should we be concerned that she will probably call him by a wrong name? Or, at 15 months old, will he even notice? Maybe it will be like having a nickname from a certain relative? Deep down, it bugs me, but I don’t want to make too big of a deal with it if we shouldn’t be concerned.

    No related posts.

    ]]>     http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2010/03/whats-in-a-name/feed/ 10     How to tell her not to call herself "mommy?" http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2009/12/how-to-tell-her-not-to-call-herself-mommy/ http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2009/12/how-to-tell-her-not-to-call-herself-mommy/#comments Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:25:07 +0000 Anonymous http://openadoptionsupport.com/?p=860
  • My son calls us both mommy. Am I doing right by him?
  • What name does the first family use with the adopted child?
  • What do I call my child's older birth siblings?
    • ]]>     well i received a call from my sons bmother. she asked me..when i come down next weekend, can I take a picture with K? I said sure,,she wants to go to sears. She said..i never took a picture just mommy and son! Well, now, I am going to allow the picture BUT wondering how Im going to address the whole..mommy and him thing. He calls her by her first name and since he just turned 3 he has no clue what adoption is just yet. So again,,shes managed to put me on the spot. Not sure how to address her.

    Related posts:

    1. My son calls us both mommy. Am I doing right by him?
    2. What name does the first family use with the adopted child?
    3. What do I call my child's older birth siblings?

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