Open Adoption Support » interfamily http://www.openadoptionsupport.com for families and individuals who support openness in adoption Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:52:52 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 How do I handle the confusion of an interfamily adoption? http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2010/10/how-do-i-handle-the-confusion-of-an-interfamily-adoption/ http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2010/10/how-do-i-handle-the-confusion-of-an-interfamily-adoption/#comments Thu, 07 Oct 2010 01:44:54 +0000 Anonymous http://openadoptionsupport.com/?p=1075
  • In an interfamily adoption, how do we talk about it all?
  • What do the children refer to each other as?
  • How do you handle relationships with bio siblings?
    • ]]>     My family has adopted my cousins 7mth old son. I want to keep the adoption open but am not sure how to “name” everyone. Initially we thought we would keep the relations the same, his first mom is my cousin, she would be his cousin, his grandfather is my uncle so he would be his uncle. After reading thru a million things I am open to keeping them as first mom and grandfather but don;t understand how to do that with my bio son. He would still view everyone as cousin and uncle so won’t it be weird for on son to call them one thing and the other son call them another. Help.

    Related posts:

    1. In an interfamily adoption, how do we talk about it all?
    2. What do the children refer to each other as?
    3. How do you handle relationships with bio siblings?

    ]]>     http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2010/10/how-do-i-handle-the-confusion-of-an-interfamily-adoption/feed/ 6     In an interfamily adoption, how do we talk about it all? http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2009/04/in-an-interfamily-adoption-how-do-we-talk-about-it-all/ http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2009/04/in-an-interfamily-adoption-how-do-we-talk-about-it-all/#comments Tue, 14 Apr 2009 12:18:31 +0000 Anonymous http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/?p=641
  • "Her" son? Is that appropriate?
    • ]]>     I don’t know anywhere else to go to ask some questions.  We have custody of our 4 year old neice after she was taken away by CPS since 9 months of age.  One parent is incarcerated and the other has gotten out of jail but has only contacted her 2 times.  We do not have an adoption, just a very solid sole custody.  The fm knows all of our contact information and lives hours away.  We offered days for visits but didn’t hear back from her.  Should we push for contact (our lawyer said no)?  We have a book with pictures and we say the fm’s name, but don’t state her “title”.  We don’t want to keep everything “secret”, but we don’t want to hurt her feelings either, since we really don’t know what type of relationship fm wants, if any.   We love her as our own, but it breaks my heart to think she may be yearning for another mother, but her fm is a very troubled person.  How and when do we share the facts without destroying trust and inducing fear in a little person that we aren’t who we say we are, mommy and daddy?  Please help if you can.  I thank you in advance for your insight and understanding that this isn’t exactly on topic.

    Related posts:

    1. "Her" son? Is that appropriate?

    ]]>     http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2009/04/in-an-interfamily-adoption-how-do-we-talk-about-it-all/feed/ 1     What should we consider in an inter-family open adoption? http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2009/02/what-should-we-consider-in-an-inter-family-open-adoption/ http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/2009/02/what-should-we-consider-in-an-inter-family-open-adoption/#comments Thu, 26 Feb 2009 13:55:35 +0000 Anonymous http://www.openadoptionsupport.com/?p=549 Our 18-year-old niece is newly pregnant, and has asked my wife and I to adopt her unborn baby.  She says she is not ready to be a mom, but she doesn’t think she can have an abortion, either.  We already have a son (we are his birthparents) who is five, and we have been  considering adopting a second child.

    Every family is different, so I won’t lay it all out, but basically everyone gets along well enough, although we are not all that close; our niece has told her (divorced) parents her situation.  They are unenthusiastic, but not really opposed.

    What are the pitfalls of an adoption like this?  How hard (or perhaps great) do you think it would be for everyone to have us raising this child?  No one’s identity would be a secret. . .

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