Distance, logistics, life and finances have made some times better than others – but we’ve always maintained a rather close relationship – if no way else than via the phone and email.

Three years ago, my daughters parents separated and got a divorce. Up to that point, things between my daughters dad and I had been strained – not for any reason really other than normal tween/teen issues coupled with difficulties that were obviously taking place in the marriage.

When mom and dad separated, mom and daughter came to stay with me for a period of time – what had been strained before became impossible.

Accusations were made. Names called. Nastiness and general ugliness followed.

I was just trying to be supportive and offer a refuge for my daughter and her mother – I never considered that my actions would create this hatred.

In the end, we don’t talk – I don’t really have a reason to talk to him, besides, he’s made his opinions of me fairly clear to anyone who will listen.

I am evil incarnate; before the separation, it was because I’d had an unplanned pregnancy – forget the fact that this little slip up resulted in his fatherhood and after the separation, it was because I was keeping his daughter from him.

I never did anything of the sort – but in the interest of pleasing her father – our daughter might have (I don’t know for sure) told him that I had been telling her to say her father was abusive – again, not something I did – in fact, I went out of my way to remain neutral because I felt she just needed someone interested in what she wanted – not what the adults wanted.

Anyway – welcome to Backfiresville.

So – fast forward – Dad has met a woman and is planning to marry this summer. She’s not keen on OA, according to Mom.

Our daughter? She’s moving in with them this summer.

So what I’m wondering is if I should reach out to him? I haven’t since they separated – but not because I didn’t want to (I’ve wanted to – you have no idea…) but because I didn’t feel he wanted me to.

I admit, also , that this olive branch comes only because I worry about what all this means for our daughter and honestly, neither of them (mom or dad) have been real interested in sharing in the last year or so – for various reasons, some of which involve extreme mental illness (long story).

So – do I dare? Do I reach out, open myself up to potential rejection and try to ‘mend’ what has been broken for so long?

I could use some major advice.

Sorry – I’ve tried to give as much backstory as I can – I got a little winded

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The Court of Appeals of Ohio, Second Appellate District, reversed the juvenile court’s order that granted continued visitation rights to appellee adoptive mother’s ex-husband, holding that the juvenile court erred when it denied appellant adoptive parents’ motion to terminate appellee’s right of visitation. The appellate court found that under In re Adoption of Ridenour, 574 N.E.2d 1055, following a child’s adoption by strangers, a juvenile court cannot order that visitation with a relative or other person continue. In addition, the court held that former relatives and other persons do not have standing to seek visitation with an adopted child under O.R.C. § 3109.051(B), which allows relatives and others to seek visitation with a child during a divorce or child support case, as this statute only applies in domestic relations proceedings, not adoption. In this case, appellant adoptive parents moved to terminate appellee’s right to visitation with the child after the adoption was finalized, but the juvenile court ordered the prior visitation to continue as appellee had lived with and acted as a father figure to the child for a period of time prior to the adoption. Because the juvenile court did not have the ability to grant the order and appellee did not have standing to seek continued visitation, the judgment was reversed.

Link to the full opinion is here (in pdf).

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