To read the full post, go to my blog Vindauga. Mal is my 15 year old daughter, Mallory. Noelle is her first mother. I write about our adoption with both their blessing.

I haven't written about Mal's open adoption for a long time. Mostly that's because we live so far apart from Noelle. Most of our relationship takes place through emails. But that is about to change, because Mal is going to visit Noelle in two weeks.

There is a lot of the same planning that would go on with any relative visiting another.  Like I'm sending suitcases of my girl's clothes for Noelle's other daughters. Ditto with foisting perfectly good toys that I am tired of picking up, disguised as charity. Noelle is asking me what kinds of things Mallory would like to do while visiting. Typical vacation planning.

But then there is the other part that is happening with all three of us in anticipation of the visit; the adoption. This is the first time that Mal and Noelle have had more than 24 hours of continuous time together. We have had many visits over the past 15 years. We've gotten together as families, Noelle has babysat, last summer Mal stayed a night at Noelle's parent's house while Noelle visited.

It was that visit that made it clear to me that they had to spend more time together, and they had to do it without me around. Both of them are much more reserved than I am. That's a nice way of saying I suck the air out of the room with constant talking, while they nod and giggle and wonder about a world where they can get a word in edgewise.