I cringe when I hear people say "He/she is adopted" or "I am adopted". Not only is it grammatically incorrect, it becomes a label.
We adopted him. He was adopted. Adopted is not something HE is, it is something that WE did. I can not think of any other past tense verb that is used in the current tense other than adopted. We don't say "he is born" or "I am born", even though one's birth is the beginning, and therefore possibly the most important aspect, of all of our life stories.
That he was adopted is an important part of his life story, as is he was born. It's not something he IS though.
Anyone else find this one quirk in the language odd and best not used, or am I just super picky?
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I so totally agree with
I so totally agree with you!!!! But I am the kind of person who sees grammatically incorrect things everywhere in the world around me. Like at the store when I see a sign for the lane that says '10 items or less' I think it should actually say '10 items or fewer !! There are things people say all the time that are not technically correct. Personally I want my birthchild to live normally without always thinking about the fact that I am not the one parenting. Sometimes its like people treat someone who was adopted as though there is something wrong with them, like they are somehow less because of the way that they became a part of their families. While there is the reality of loss in every adoption story I sincerely hope that for the most part that people who are part of there families through adoption feel equal to people born to their parents. Mostly I want people who were adopted to think very little about that fact. Even though I hope my birthchild remembers me as a person not as a issue. People take alot of things too personally and espiecially people who were adopted seem to take the fact that they were a little to personally and thats why they call themselves 'adopted'. I wish people would not do this, I think its a little confusing, I dislike labels of any sort though.
I agree adoptees (heck
I agree adoptees (heck anyone) should use whatever words they wish when self identifying, especially when they are teens and adults...but do you think most children would say "I am adopted" if they hadn't heard it used that way by those around them? Do you think Madison, having never heard it applied to her as a present tense label, will do so when she is 8 or 9?
I don't know. This is a
I don't know. This is a language issue that doesn't bother me all that much but that doesn't mean I think it's wrong to be bothered by it! It's just not one of the things that pushes my buttons.
I understand what you're
I understand what you're saying and we don't ever use that label w/Madison (we say we adopted her when explaining) but I also think that adopted people have the right to "own" that label if they so choose. If someone feels very identified with that label, then it's their right to claim it. (Although I haven't heard anyone use that -- I hear people claim themselves as adoptees and adopted people. Still, people should use the names/labels they feel speaks most deeply to their experience.)