Far be it from me to cast the first stone, but if I were the Queen of the World, one of my first royal acts would be to get the baby girl known as "Dannielynn" into a loving adoptive home, followed in short order by the Federline boys.
It's not that I'm gunning for celebrity parents. And I don't doubt that these three kids will grow up with all the cool toys that money can buy. But if there were any chance of these tots having a "normal" life, it wouldn't be with those parents.
They're surely nice folks, up close and personal. I'm sure they buy more than their fair share of Girl Scout cookies when the Globe has paparazzi close by to snap the photos. Larry Birkhead made a compelling case, when he begged friends to help him find a less scuzzy apartment in an effort to prevail in the custody case. Brittany certainly looked like a doting parent unable to put her child down, when she got busted for driving with her son in her lap. Kevin's willingness to give interviews protesting his commitment to his kids to any journalist willing to plug his lousy last album speaks volumes.
Still, I can't help but think what a healthy alternative open adoption could offer these tots who already have all the love a nanny can give.
Britt could party into the wee hours, with or without undies, and still enjoy regular visits with her boys and their adoptive family every other Sunday. Kevin could catch up on his child support payments to Shari and her kids, while reviving his rap career and building a collection of shot glasses from clubs around the world for the adoptive family of his sons. Larry could keep living in his late paramour's home, Howard could keep holding the reins on Anna Nicole's money, and Dannielynn could enjoy the security and stability of a loving, two-parent home that's thankfully free of both drugs and sex acts that sell tabloids. (Maybe, even Grandma Virgie could keep in touch, too, provided she doesn't videotape visits for cash from Inside Edition.)
I realize that finding the kind of adoptive families who could set appropriate boundaries that these open adoptions would require might take some doing. (Most who adopt domestically do prefer newborns, after all.) But as a qualified adoption professional, I'm willing to set aside the time necessary to do the work to make it happen. For your kids' sake.
So Brittany? Kevin? Howard/Larry? Have your people call my people. I'll be waiting.
As a professional, I get it.
As a professional, I get it. It's tongue in cheek. It's looking at celebrity "parents" (and yes I use that term loosely because who is parenting these kids?) and wonder if they think what they are doing is parenting.
We certainly don't know what goes on in their daily lives but given how much and how often they are photographed one can deduce how little they are with their children.
And I'm not saying they are bad parents so they should place. Or that those who place their children are bad parents (a wise woman once told me some of the best parents she knows are birthparents and she's right) but there is a point where you've got to think they know they should be doing better by their kids. Or at least you hope they think that...who knows?
I don't think any of us are
I don't think any of us are familiar enough with these families to say that their children would be better off in adoptive families. We may personally disapprove of parenting styles or environments, but in my opinion calling on someone--especially a stranger--to place his/her child for adoption is inappropriate.
As you well know, adoption brings significant loss upon both the child and his/her first parents. Open adoption does not erase those losses. I'm troubled that it is being so flippantly here.
Ouch! Heathers, sorry you
Ouch! Heathers, sorry you took offense. I'm new around here. Considering how "nonflippant" my prior blog posts had been, I figured I'd try to lighten my overly sentimental prose with a little humor, for a welcome change. I haven't seen any recent blog postings written by you in the week since I joined this community but will certainly search for them and try to glean appropriate guidance from them.
I am no expert, so please
I am no expert, so please don't go looking in anything I've written for guidance. I am just a new-ish adoptive parent who is trying to think through adoption issues in a like-minded community.
I apologize if my first comment came across too sharply. Those are real kids we're talking about who are in the middle of difficult custody battles, and it made me sad to see their situations treated so lightly. My comment was meant to be a counterpoint.