i feel lost sad and broken like i have two kids and im a single mom so when i got pregnat with this son i didnt or couldnt have it my aunt cant have babies i thought it the purfet solution but now all i feel is horible its been a week and even though i have nothing to give this baby i cant stand the fact that hes not with me it made me feel better when i went and looked at the nursery and all she could give him it made me feel better.But short lived iive got to go back to texas now and i feel like im going to fall apart and ive still got 2 kids how do i keep it together for them?
I feel like I’m going to fall apart and I’ve still got 2 kids I’m parenting, how do I keep it together for them?
– July 7, 2012Posted in: Community Wisdom
I read your post earlier and have no advice to give as an adoptive mom. I have been through two disruptions though, and I still think of those children and their birth parents to this day. I am sure I will never forget them.
I didn’t want you think that your post was unread. Being summer, I know things are pretty busy for most. I am sure you will get some more helpful advice soon from those who have been through something similar to what you have.
Meanwhile, I was listening and my heart goes out to you at this VERY tough time in your life.
My son gave up his son a little over a year ago. He struggles everyday since as do we all. If u would like to contact me off of here let me know.
I am so sorry that you are going through this pain. I placed my son 2 years ago and it is as hard today as I ever thought it could be. You just have to take it one day at a time and find ways to affirm yourself. The only way to move forward (not move on, because that doesn’t ever happen), but to move forward is to come to peace with your decision and the knowledge that you did it because you believed it was the best thing for your child at the time that you made the decision. You do the best you can in each moment and live the next knowing that was all you could do. You make the best of each new opportunity allowing yourself to have hope for better days.
It sounds like you are out of state from where your child lives but I would encourage you to stay in contact with your Aunt and talk to her about staying involved in your child’s life. You are all family in a new way now and I hope that she will be supportive of openness with you. You are in my thoughts as you navigate this new reality.
My heart is breaking for you. I am an adoptive mother so I can only imagine what must be in your heart. I just wanted to send you a hug.
In my opinion the choice you made is one only a REAL mother could make. By real I do not mean birth mom vs adoptive mom, but a mom. A person who puts their childs best interest and needs before her own. Who sacrifices so that her children won’t have to in the same way. At the same time you have given your aunt the incredible gift of parenthood.
Be kind and patient with yourself. As the previous poster said, take it day by or minute by minute if you have to. Allow yourself time to grieve, but take the time to celebrate the joy and love you have with your other two children.
I hope in time you find peace in your heart and mind. Hugs to you.