My birthdaughter will likely be my only child, anyone encountered this or care to weigh in?
Anyone else whose placed child will be their only child?
– July 1, 2012Posted in: Community Wisdom
Our Beliefs
- We honor the connection adoptees have to both of their families.
- We recognize the love and joy as well as the losses and grief of adoption.
- We do not diminish one family in favor of another.
- We are flexible, understanding that needs and circumstances change.
- We set boundaries on the basis of what is best for our children.
- We understand that open adoption looks like different things for different families.
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I have to tell you that I placed my only son in open adoption, and my plan at least, at this point in my life(I’m 33) is not to have any other children or parent anyone.
I personally do not have the desire to parent. The only way I would parent is if a man pursued me, and married me, and had a child already.
That is, I would be willing to be a step-parent, but would not pursue parenting as a goal.
For me though, it is likely that I will be single for the rest of my life, at least, I hope so.
I know for some other first moms, the thought of not even having the chance to parent a child that they can give birth to is difficult to accept.
I think that if a first mom wants to parent after placing in adoption, she should make choices that favor that goal.
I don’t know if you are saying this will be the only child you will give birth to, or if you just do not plan to parent through other means, such as adopting, or foster care, or step-parenting.
I know for many first mothers, knowing that you might not have the chance to give birth again might make you regret the choice to place in adoption.
I do not have that type of regret myself, but I can appreciate it.