Can an adoptive parent, someone who adopted 2 girls about 5 yrs ago, have someone in the family raise her adoption children, while still financially supporting her children, of course
Yes, adoptive parents — like any other parent — can surrender their parental rights to their children or they can create legal guardianships for their children. This is the sort of situation you would need to see a lawyer about.
I hesitated to push this question through since I’m not sure how it relates to open adoption but then I decided it gives us the chance to remember that adoptive families are not somehow immune to the challenges that many birth families face.
Also it’s a reminder that children in foster situations or in adoption homes that disrupt have added openness challenges. For those children who were in positive foster placements, connection to those homes after reunification or adoption can be an important part of the adoption plan. I’m reminded of Phil Bertelsen’s documentary, Outside Looking In, where he talks about the connection he had with his foster mother and the importance in tracking her down when he was searching for his birth family.
If you do disrupt the placement (or the adoption) I hope you will figure out a way to continue to have connection with your daughters.
Yes, adoptive parents can surrender their adopted children. I was adopted when I was 7 and was placed back in foster care when I was 10 due to my amom’s physical health deteriorating. To this day they are listed on my birth certificate as my parents even though I only lived with them for three and a half years. It is not something I would ever recommend to a family. It is the ultimate blow to a child’s psyche. Not only did their birth family terminate but then a family who chose them and promised to love them forever, didn’t want them either.
And I fully agree with everything Dawn said. After my adoption was terminated the family ended all contact and I didn’t speak to them again until I went looking for them at 18. I needed them to know I was ok and I needed them to acknowledge that they hurt me. Thankfully we have a great relationship now which has been very healing for me. Every family that ever had a positive influence on me has played a role in who I am today and if I could communicate that to all 20+ of them (not including the awful placements, I hope I never have to speak to those people again) I would, unfortunately I will never be able to.
One thing I would like to clarify is your indication that someone else in the family could care for the children. Is this someone in the adoptive family? If that is an option, I would highly recommend it vs surrendering the children to foster care. If they can stay connected to the only family they’ve known for the last five years through living with a relative, that is a positive alternative. It will, of course, require the aparent’s cooperation and agreement (likely an attorney needs to be involved) but it can be a very positive outcome.
Oh, Brittani, your response made me cry.
I remember reading this on your blog before, but still, I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you.
All my love. S.
Sorry to make you cry hon! It has been much harder since I became a birth mom. Before I could put the one person I love most in this world into my own situation, I didn’t realize how truly awful it was. I cannot even imagine if his parents did to him what mine did to me. It’s never ok to give up on a child.
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Notify me of follow-up comments by email.
Notify me of new posts by email.
About Arras WordPress Theme
Copyright Open Adoption Support. All Rights Reserved.