hello….. so my situation is this…. i am very grateful to have been chosen to care for a family members kids…. what originally started out as a babysit here and there became temporary/ now permanent. Now this was not my plan but i love them and would not change this for the world…… even through the struggles and growing pains….. the ages are 3,2 and 9 months…….. this family member is an unmedicated and struggles with bipolar……. so up until now she has not really asked or wanted to see the kids…… it is only when someone says something that she puts up an argument, and the couple of times we have scheduled it just has not happen something comes up…… i am not oppose to the kids being involved i just wander what will that look like when 2 of these children are special need……. and i have taught them to call me aunt but the majority of the time they are calling me mom. due to me having other children……. so i am tring to come up with ways to began uniting with their birth mom…. and keeping things peacful for the kids, me and birth mom……… it has been a year almost since she has seen the kids and she is inconsistant with visiting with the kids……… i was thinking of offering a schedule but i think she will still be inconsistent……. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE PLEASE HELP……. Also hte grandparents of one the children are wanting a relationship i am ok with that they live 4 hours away.. i offered them coming and visiting with us and having lunch or meeting up at local restaurant first…… i am up for the task at hand just want to be fair… and put up boundaries in it.. and make sure the kids care id first and foremost.
How do I help my children have an open adoption in a difficult kinship situation?
– May 21, 2012Posted in: Community Wisdom
Go see a lawyer, I have a friend who went thru same issue dealing with a bipolar daughter and special needs son. Bipolar daughter ended up pregnant and wanted nothing to do with first child. Get the state involved unless you already have but the children will at least get the special services they need and help you too.
I agree with the previous poster’s advice – seeing a lawyer is important. Many family lawyers offer free consultations. It sounds from your post like nothing has been done formally through the courts, is that right? It might be important to get established as their legal guardian so you can get services for them. A lawyer can help set you up with services and even possibly financial aid. Their mother may be eligible for services, too. I wouldn’t try to negotiate directly with someone who is bipolar–she may or may not be able to look out for her own best interests or the children’s. Good luck.