My son was placed in an open adoption immediately after his birth 19 months ago. They live out of state so we have only had one visit since his birth but we frequently e-mail, Skype, I receive bimonthly updates and frequent photos. Which is all fantastic and I am so appreciative.
But I feel like it is not enough. Not that they aren’t doing enough (because they are) but I don’t feel the way I thought I would. I feel like I don’t know my son at all. Like the older he gets the more foreign he is to me. Like I only know that 7lb 13 oz version of him, which is just plain crazy because he’s obviously the same child and just as adorable as ever.
How can I feel like my child is less of a stranger? I look at pictures of him now that he is looking very much like a 3 year old (he’s very tall for his age) and I feel so disconnected to him. Like I don’t know him at all, because really I don’t.
What are some things that I can do to feel more bonded to the child he is today rather than the child that I relinquished?
Have any of the other birthmom’s on here had similar experiences?
P.S. We do have a visit planned for this summer so I’m sure that direct contact time will help immensely, but I’m just looking for some day to day tips that might help me feel like I “know” him more.