You hear a lot of stories in the news about adult adoptees finding their first families through social media sites like facebook. The internet has opened up a whole new world, one I wish I had had access to when I was searching.
But has anyone had to deal with a child using the internet/facebook to reach out to first family members on their own? We started out in an open adoption with my son’s first family. We were there for his birth, we have names, addresses, email and have had sporadic contact over the last 9 years, but my son has never met his mother or either of his siblings that she is parenting.
Both his mother and older brother have facebook accounts, though we are not “friends” with them. While my son does not yet have his own account, it’s really only a matter of time before he googles them, emails them, reaches out on facebook. Do we try to prevent him from doing this? Do we let him and let the cards fall where they may?
The main issue is that his mother has never told his siblings about the baby she placed for adoption. I can’t imagine how a 12 year old would react to getting a message on facebook that says “Hey, I’m your brother, don’t we look alike?” My son knows that his siblings don’t know about him, but if he’s anything like I was as a young adoptee, he is likely to not care and just want to make contact.