I’m an adoptive mother to a 3.5 yr old daughter. Her birthmom is raising her three older brothers. And, I have a 7 yr old w/ another birthmom. The last few Christmas’s I’ve sent a big box of my son’s hand-me downs and a gift card to my daughter’s Birthmom. In the last year, I’ve lost touch w/ her. I did briefly speak with her when she had another child whom she gave up for adoption. I would really love to send her the big box of hand-me downs this year, because I know she could use them. But, I’ve lost touch, and have no idea how she is doing. I’m sure her life is at best chaotic, and at worse, something else, because she has very difficult circumstances. But, since we aren’t really in touch, I think it’s kinda strange, cheesy to send a box of old clothes. And, while I look forward to hearing from her, I do dread it in a way.
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I would go ahead and send it–it could really help, and if not, it does no harm. It send the message that you are still here, still thinking of her and your daughter’s bio bros. And while I know what it’s like to not really want to know what’s going on–knowing is always better than not knowing in the long run…..just my two cents!