I was wondering what advice you all would give on how to handle my daughter’s first birthday. We will be inviting her first mom and many members of the first family. What I was wondering was how if at all we should make her first mom feel included in the party.
She’s a very shy young lady and I don’t want to embarass her but I would like to include her. My only thought is to have her help with the gift opening. Any other ideas? I’ll ask her as it gets closer (April) but I want to have some ideas to give her.
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Ask her what she wants to
Ask her what she wants to do. I only wish that the adoptive parents of my birthchild wanted to invite me to the birthday parties. I only get to visit a week or so before the birthday. I think if you really want to include her you should treat her just the same as all the other guests. Being put on the spot to do something important like the ‘gift opening’ might scare her if she is shy. The only thing I can think of is to invite her to your house (or whereever the party is going to be) before the party starts to help with setup and maybe include her in the choices of foods. Just make her feel comfortable and welcome before everyone else comes over so she won’t be as overwhelmed as she would if she walking into a party full-swing with tons of people. I think that just open honest discussion is what you should do. You’d be surprized at how many ‘shy’ people have alot to say if you just give them the chance to say it.
when i went to my son’s first birthday party, simply being introduced to people in a casual way made me feel included and comfortable, without having too much spotlight on me. maybe have her help in cutting and passing out cake and small things like that?
We asked our daughter’s
We asked our daughter’s first mom what she wanted to do, come to the big party and meet all our friends and family or have a smaller, private celebration. We told her we wanted her to eventually meet everyone and have them meet her but understood if all at once was overwhelming. She opted to come to the main party and we also invited her mom. It was AWESOME! My parents and siblings who were here from out of state got to meet them as did my partners parents and all our friends and neighbors who came. She is not shy though and I heard later that she told a few people (unprompted) why she chose us and how she knew she wanted us right away, etc. They were all touched and thought she was wonderful and funny. She helped us open presents and when I was planning the party, she offered an idea on the theme and we decided to use her idea. I’d ask her what she is comfortable with and give her some options but let her know you want her there. Good luck.
Will this be her first
Will this be her first meeting with most of these people? If so, I would ask her how she wishes to be included, perhaps she just wants to be a guest. She might also like to help in the planning; theme, cake, decor, writing invitations. Maybe she would be willing to light the candles and bring out the cake, or give the first gift or something that doesn’t make her the focus of attention like a speech or toast would (as the cake or gift would be the focus), but allows her a special way to participate.
As hostess anytime you have guest who is known to be shy, you should also facilitate by introducing her to a few people you know she will have something in common with to talk about, as well as a specific person you know to be sensitive to help her mingle while you oversee the festivities.
Great responses thank you.
Great responses thank you. It will likely be the first time she is with most people.
I really like the idea of her bringing the cake in.
I think with more of her family there she will be more comfortable and I imagine at least 3 other family members will be able to attend. But finding key people to introduce her to is a great idea.
I love the idea of having her help with the planning too. I hadn’t thought of that. And I know she would be thrilled to help out with that.
Thank you. I feel so much more comfortable about talking to her about it now.