I feel like the adoptive parents of my birthchild think I’m too poor to give them anything, but I’m not!! Plus I just really like giving gifts. In the past I give them a card with a gift certificate inside. The adoptive parents have only once sent me a card for christmas. Other than that they only send me ONE professional picture at christmas time. Just the picture, no note or anything. Anyways, I feel like giving them a good gift would be a step towards a closer relationship. What should I give them?
What gifts can a birth/first mom give her birthchilds adoptive parents?
– December 2, 2008Posted in: Community Wisdom
Unfortunately they don’t
Unfortunately they don’t sound like they would be very appreciative no matter how thoughtful the gift. Sending a photo with no note is tacky and rude and I am shocked.
Anyway, if you think it would be a nice gesture, I suggest something handmade and/or collectible. If you don’t know them well, you wouldn’t know what they need or already have, so buying something would be tricky.
Some suggestions:
A nice ornament (I collect ornaments so am biased), maybe even start a yearly ornament tradition
If you are an artist or photographer a framed piece of your work
Same as above for any craft you do. If you make soaps or jewelry or something then a nice example of your work
I’m with MamaB2C with the
I’m with MamaB2C with the rude comment. (sigh) I also like her ornament idea because it solves the problem for what to get every year and also one hopes that your child will someday inherit those ornaments, which is very touching.
thanks for commenting. I am
thanks for commenting. I am not very artsy. I can only write. I have been thinking of making a ‘life book’. I even got a really nice scrapbook to do it with. I have ideas I just need to get down to business and do it. I have read alot of stories of people who were adopted and am finding they ask the same questions over and over. Making a ‘life book’ might answer the questions that I know my birthchild will ask in time.
I do know a fair bit about the adoptive parents of my birthchild. I have had 8 visits with them and their look through the adoptive moms Facebook profile everyday. So I learn alot about them that way too. I just want them to know that I want to know them as good friends. Thanks for your suggestions. I wish I could do them.
I love gift traditions. My
I love gift traditions. My grandma started me on ornaments the year I was born, and others throughout the years gifted me with ornaments. When I got my first real home, my mom gave me all my ornaments to start my own tree. DS receives ornaments yearly from several people, and will have those ornaments when he gets his own home
. I started a collection for his first mom, with a specific character that has meaning to us.
His first mom sends a pair of Christmas pajamas for DS and a Christmas mug for each of us every year as per her family tradition. DS will have his mugs along with his ornaments.
My mom buys everyone a book every year.
Really consider some kind of tradition/collection. It’s very meaningful and a lot of fun.
A lifebook would be a great thing to do anytime. DS’s first mom gave us one not long after he was born. But I consider that his, not a gift to us.
So what did you decide?
So what did you decide?
I found the thought of
I found the thought of making something for them overwhelming so I just sent a card.(and presents for my birthchild of course)
I DID consider making something. Even looked into getting stuff. Just couldn’t find anything good.
The card plays a Chirstmas carol and the adoptive mom sent me a message saying she really thought it was fun.
Maybe next year I’ll do something special. I just ran out of energy this year.