What can I do to keep my relationship close with my son even though I live so far from him?

– July 25, 2008Posted in: Community Wisdom

I gave my child up 3 years ago for adoption in Sioux Falls, SD. I did have a wonderful relationship with them the first 2 years. I got married one and a half years ago and also had another baby. My husband entered the U.S. Army and we got stationed in Fort Lewis, WA. The adoption parents had recently adopted another child. I really dont know but since I have moved I barly hear from them and I am always the one who contacts them through e-mail. It seems as though they are pushing me out of my first born sons life. What can I do to keep my relationship close with my son even though I live so far from him? And as a open adoption can the adoptive parents decide when they want to cut ties with me?

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2 Comments

1. Reply

   Anonymous

   Posted July 25, 2008 at 3:33 PM

   if you went through an

   if you went through an agency or attorney, you can always send letters/updates and ask them to be forwarded to the parents.  keep copies for yourself as well.  and unfortunately, yes, they can decided to cease contact.  but perhaps they’re just overwhelmed right now with having two little ones right now and figure you’re really busy with your life too.  i’m not making excuses for them, but its just what comes to mind… hang in there.

2. Reply

   Anonymous

   Posted July 25, 2008 at 11:05 PM

   I have a 2-1/2 year old, and

   I have a 2-1/2 year old, and even with just him, it’s a struggle to get anything done. I work too. I can’t imagine caring for a toddler and a new baby and having any time left. I don’t think the adoptive parents are pushing you out of your son’s life; I think they’re probably overwhelmed right now. I have 6 months of pictures that I’m trying to go through and send. You can ask for just one photo per month, or something small so they can keep contact. I know for me, I want to send everything all at once, and that’s just too much to keep track of. So, maybe by suggesting smaller things that they could do to include and remember you would be a good idea.
   And you can always send things for your son – pictures of you and your family, if they allow it, a litle gift every now and then. You can write letters and save them for when he’s older.
   Yes, the adoptive parents can decide to terminate contact, but from what you say I really do think it’s just that  they have a lot going on right now.